15 steps to a really unsuccessful event.

 

  1. Start planning as late as possible to get that wonderful knife-against-the-throat feeling.
  2. Forget about the objective and purpose of the event. All you need to know that partying is fun!
  3. Set a very strict budget from the outset. Just let anything go when it’s panic stations at the end.
  4. Assume that all staff/all customers will turn up, that they’ve been waiting for this very invitation and that they’ll therefore be both happy and grateful when they arrive.
  5. Try to encourage all subcontractors to sign up to barter solutions. This creates a wonderfully varied host of logos, and everyone will know exactly whose event it is.
  6. Make sure that your suppliers use subcontractors. That makes it especially exciting when something goes wrong. Who’s actually responsible?
  7. Assume that the guests can socialise unprompted. Let them sort themselves out and just enjoy yourself with those you know already.
  8. Plan according to your own taste. Choose entertainment that only you like, people can either take it or leave it!
  9. Don’t hesitate to go for the long version of the company description. This is just the evening for that 100-slide PPT! Don’t kill your darlings.
  10. Give free rein to the company joker. All evening.
  11. Keep it fairly chilly in the room.
  12. Offer an outrageously strong welcome drink and make sure the glasses are never empty. Aren’t the old tricks still the best?
  13. Cut back on the food.
  14. Don’t evaluate the result. You have good intuition and you can tell a good party from a dull one.
  15. Do it all yourself. Preparations, all contacts, finances, logistics, entertainment… If you want something doing, best to do it yourself, and after all you’ve nothing else to do.